Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Driven by Fear

Fear, too many of us let it dictate how we live, how we treat others and how we raise our children.  Fear, it overwhelms us.  We stand paralyzed by fear, missing out on life and relationships.   Pay attention in a day how many times you say, "I'm afraid".  Then take note what follows those words.
I'm afraid....
to let my children be on the internet.
that our country will go into intense moral decline.
to try that recipe for the party.
my children won't like me.
of what other people might think of me.
to talk to that person.
to confront my spouse about a problem we are having.
I will make a fool of myself if I try that activity.
my outfit will be wrong for the occasion.
to change jobs.

The list of fear is endless.  Instead of becoming stuck on the worst case scenario of the fear, consider why you are afraid.  For some it is an issue of control, for others, a previous experience pushes us to fear.  Some of our fear is valid, fear in some situations is completely appropriate and is part of our natural instinct that keeps us alive.  If you are afraid to drive on the wrong side of the street, that's a healthy fear.  But in so many situations our fear is not a life or death situation.  Instead, our fear is based on other people's perceptions of us, or not wanting to be in an uncomfortable situation.

The next Holiday Party you attend think about what "fear" is keeping you from doing.  For some, your fear will keep you from even attending the party.  That fear will keep you from celebrating, meeting someone new, reviving an old friendship, learning a new recipe, maybe even finding a new job lead.

Go to the party and try something new for yourself.
Take a new recipe to the party.  The worst case, it ends up in the trash.  The best case, it is the hit of the night.
Talk to someone you have never met before.  Worst case, you don't like each other.  Best case, you've made a new friend, found yourself a babysitter, or met that partner you've needed to get a project off the ground.
Stop fretting about what to wear.  More than once I've shown up overdressed.  Usually the host considers it a compliment that I cared enough to do so for her event.  Others look at their own outfit and wish they had worn that other favorite outfit that rarely makes it out of the closet.  That negative response that you assume will happen, probably won't.  If it does....is it really the end of the world?

Practice overcoming your fear in this area and another time we can talk about addressing fear of our country, our technology, our important relationships, and our jobs.





 


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